"Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:4-6
May I ask you a question? Regardless of your legal marital status, do you consider yourself to be married in God's eyes? I pray that you do, because that covenant between you, your spouse, and God is the very basis of your stand, praying and trusting God alone to heal and restore your marriage. It would take a miracle, you say? Yes, it would, but our God is a miracle working God. There's a second question that needs to be asked. If you consider yourself married, are you acting as though married 100% of the time? The physical absence or presence of your spouse has no bearing on your being married in God's eyes.
In practice this means ‘no’ to dating anyone else. It also is a great idea to wear your wedding ring if you have it. I unfortunately lost mine so I wear a simple ring on my left hand just to show people I’m already ‘taken’. It also has a psychological impact - I feel ‘married. ‘ some other hints and tips for Standers below:
Stay away from single's ministries. For many people, this is where they shop for future spouses, and you are not eligible! You can find good fellowship and teaching elsewhere in your church or community, apart from a single's ministry. Remember, in God's eyes, you are married.
Have prayer partners of your same sex. Praying together brings about a level of intimacy. Save that for your returned spouse.
Avoid phone chats with the opposite sex. If you are doing this, you are asking for trouble.
Confide only in professionals of the opposite sex. Do not share details of your life or stand with the opposite sex.
Do not go out, for any reason, with persons of the opposite sex, except in a large group. How would your spouse feel if someone reported seeing you out with a person of the opposite sex?
If you feel led to call someone to see how they are doing, make it someone of the same sex.
Avoid the "But we're just friends" syndrome. I recently heard a pastor say that if a person is voicing those words, they are already in trouble!
Use as a guide the question, "If my spouse was home, would I be doing this?" For example, I would not go out for coffee with an opposite sex stander, so if you consider yourself married in God's eyes, why should you now?
Stay out of unmonitored chat rooms. Limit the information you share with anyone online, (You do not know their sex, or even who they really are). Limit email to the opposite sex to only what is absolutely necessary.
Allow God to be your spouse, your companion, your friend, not a person of the opposite sex, and not your computer.
Look for opportunities to minister to people of the same sex, not the opposite sex.
Avoid "I'll tell you my troubles if you'll tell me yours" scenarios with the opposite sex.
Do not even think about what kind of husband or wife someone else would make.
Do not look for loopholes allowing male/female relationships. Strive to see how far from the edge you can live. Refocus your thoughts, energies, time, and emotions on living as a married Christian, always striving to advance Kingdom work.
The bottom line is that every man and woman, who is serious about standing, needs to start considering themselves to be a married person, all the way, in every way, from this day forward.
There is good news for you today. Regardless of how far you have strayed from being a stander, living a married lifestyle, there is forgiveness to be found in Jesus Christ. My prayer is that today you will seek His forgiveness, and also that you will make the changed needed in your life to live for Christ as one excited about His promise of marriage restoration.
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