The Bible clearly speaks about a lawful marriage between two single never married before people as being for life. Mark 10:6-9, Gen 2: 22-24, Matt 19:4-6, 1 Cor 7:1-16, Rom 7:2. Only the death of one of the partners breaks the bond of marriage.
Unfortunately in England since the time of Henry 8th this belief has been gradually eroded and ignored not only by non believers but by the Church herself the very body of which is supposed to reflect and uphold the truth of Scripture. The moral failure of the church in England to stay true to the revealed will of God has plunged many unsuspecting souls into eternal damnation for Jesus called remarriage 'adultery' see Luke 16:18, Mark 10:11-12, Matt 19:9, and the Bible is clear that there will be no adulterers in heaven 1 Cor 6:9 'Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality'. Unrepentant adulterers will not have a place in heaven.
This article aims to break down the Bibles teaching on the meaning of 'fornication' the only grounds Jesus gives for divorce, and thereby inform a generation of people who have been led astray by the Church of England's erroneous teaching that adultery is a grounds for divorce.
To start with we will take a look at the verse many use to allow a divorce and remarriage. Matthew 19:9 1525 William Tyndale New Testament
'I say therefore unto you, whosoever putteth away his wife (except it be for fornication) and marrieth another, breaketh wedlock. And whosoever marrieth her which is divorced, doth commit advoutry.' The verse makes an allowance for divorce and that is if a partner commits 'fornication' (not adultery).
Unfortunately in England since the time of Henry 8th this belief has been gradually eroded and ignored not only by non believers but by the Church herself the very body of which is supposed to reflect and uphold the truth of Scripture. The moral failure of the church in England to stay true to the revealed will of God has plunged many unsuspecting souls into eternal damnation for Jesus called remarriage 'adultery' see Luke 16:18, Mark 10:11-12, Matt 19:9, and the Bible is clear that there will be no adulterers in heaven 1 Cor 6:9 'Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality'. Unrepentant adulterers will not have a place in heaven.
This article aims to break down the Bibles teaching on the meaning of 'fornication' the only grounds Jesus gives for divorce, and thereby inform a generation of people who have been led astray by the Church of England's erroneous teaching that adultery is a grounds for divorce.
To start with we will take a look at the verse many use to allow a divorce and remarriage. Matthew 19:9 1525 William Tyndale New Testament
'I say therefore unto you, whosoever putteth away his wife (except it be for fornication) and marrieth another, breaketh wedlock. And whosoever marrieth her which is divorced, doth commit advoutry.' The verse makes an allowance for divorce and that is if a partner commits 'fornication' (not adultery).
Divorce for 'Fornication' explained
1. WHAT MAKES A MARRIAGE IN GODS SIGHT?
MAL 2:14 Yet ye say, wherefore? Because the Lord has been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy COVENANT.
God says that He is witness of the covenant made between a husband and wife.
Vs 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. Compare also Matt 19:4-6
God says that he made a husband and wife as one (one flesh). God at the time of the marriage contract joins the couple together in a covenant, as long as they are free to marry, this is followed by the consummation of the marriage. There are many other things that man has added to this, but they account for nothing. People all over the world have differing wedding and marriage customs, and some of these traditions do not include God. He is a witness of the vows made and joins them together, unless of course the marriage is sinful in which case it is regarded as adultery. (see above)
2. JEWISH MARRIAGE CUSTOMS & TRADITIONS.
I say marriage customs, not wedding customs, because the point of this discussion is how a Jewish couple becomes married. Weddings are not necessarily a part of what binds a couple together in marriage. Customs and traditions according to the Bible and the way God looks at things can be partly or even completely made up of man-made things, so that these traditions and customs have little importance in the things of God. In 1st century Palestine when the Gospel of Matthew was written it was a custom (not a rule), that couples would wait a long time, often a year or even more between betrothal and marriage. To understand this we must look to the next point.
3. OUR ENGAGEMENT VS. A JEWISH BETROTHAL.
It is important for us to understand the difference between an engagement and a Jewish betrothal. A betrothal (in the past) was the legal side of the marriage for Jewish people; it is, in fact, a covenant. The Jewish people call it kiddushin (betrothal). There is no set way to do this, but quite commonly it was done by the payment of a bride price in the presence of two witnesses, and reciting the marriage formula, "Thou art consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and of Israel." She is not required to respond; her silence is her acceptance. This reserved the young woman for him until the day of the wedding ceremony after which the marriage would be consummated. It doesn't matter what you call it, betrothal or engagement, the important thing to know is if there are vows involved or not. The 1st century Jews knew that this was done when they were betrothed, and we know this is done at the altar. This is very clear in our minds that the wedding day is the day of no turning back. Just as it is clear in the mind of the Jewish people when they are betrothed according to their customs. Although of course, some of them break these vows just as some of us. Nevertheless a traditional Jewish betrothal is taken very seriously because this is their vow. So an engagement may be called off at any time, and for any reason because no vows are made, but rather they agree to make those vows at a later date. Whereas a betrothal is a Jewish person's vows, and therefore binding until death do they part. This is why sometimes in the Bible a wife can be called a wife before she is actually married, a man may also be called a husband in the same situation. Joseph was called Marys' husband for this exact reason - they were betrothed but they had not yet consummated the marriage or had the wedding celebrations. see Matt 1:19.
The proof of this custom can be seen from other writings of the time. In the book of Josephus:
Josephus was a man who lived shortly after the time of Christ AD 37-100. He was the son of a priest and became a Pharisee at the age of nineteen. He may not have been a Christian but the historic details he has compiled are of great value. And of course he had first-hand knowledge of Jewish customs at the time of Christ. In The Antiquities Of The Jews Book 1 ch 11 par 4 on page 41. Josephus speaks of Lots two daughters. Gen 19:14 And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which (married) his daughters, and said, up, get you out of this place; for the Lord will destroy this city. But he seemed as One that mocked unto his sons in law.
Josephus speaks about these scriptures and basically says that the two daughters of Lot were virgins, yet they were married to Lot's sons-in-law. How can this be if they were virgins? You might say they were not the only two daughters of Lot, but later in this chapter one of them is called the first born, and it was customary for the elder to be married first, as we can see from Laban and his two daughters. But also we have here in Josephus his comments on Lot's two daughters. He says that Lot left with his two daughters, who were virgins, and betrothed to the same two (sons-in-law) that Lot spoke to. Then at the bottom of this column note (a) Says, These (sons in law) to Lot, as they are called might be so styled because they were (betrothed) to Lot's daughters, though not yet married to them.
Now you may argue that we cannot trust what Josephus says especially since he wasn't a Christian. But nonetheless Jewish people especially priests and Pharisees knew their Bible and their history. Even if you don't believe he was right about Lot's daughters, the mere fact that he mentions it proves my point about the customs of the Jews. He also speaks of these things again on page 387 The Antiquities Of The Jews Book 14 Chap 13 Par 1 Bottom 1st column note (a). We may here take notice that (espousals) alone were of old esteemed a sufficient foundation for affinity, Hycranus being here called father in law to Herod, because his granddaughter Mariamne was betrothed to him, although the marriage was not completed till four years afterwards.
'World of weddings' a book by Brian Murphy says,' Espousal among Hebrews was the (only) legal part of marriage, and could not be broken off except by a bill of divorce. All legal documents were signed and contracts completed at this time. All contracts specified a time between the espousal and the actual marriage relationship.'
Also in the Dake Bible, Deut 20 top of forth column (a).It was customary among the Jews to contract matrimony, espouse or betroth a couple, then leave each one with the parents for a considerable time. The contract always specified conditions of dowry, the time when the contracting couple should come together as man and wife, and all other details of agreement between the parents and young people. Concluding festivities were held at the time of fulfillment or coming together of the betrothed. The bridegroom then brought his bride home. Hence, any man in Israel who had such a contract for a wife was free from military duty until he had consummated the marriage and actually taken his wife.
Please read
Luk 2:4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
Luk 2:5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
Luk 2:6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
Luk 2:7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
It says that Mary was Joseph’s espoused wife when she was about to be delivered of her child. An interesting scripture, which not only calls an espoused woman a WIFE, but also shows that until the two become one flesh they have not completed the marriage in God's sight and are still considered to be betrothed. Joseph was espoused to Mary when he thought to PUT HER AWAY for the reason of FORNICATION, because she was found with child. Then in Matt 1:24-25 Joseph did as the angel had bidden him and took to him his wife.Which means they had a wedding ceremony. Therefore all being witnesses of the wedding would have thought them to have consummated the marriage, now believing them to be husband and wife. Had this not been the case they certainly would not have been traveling together as this was not the done thing. A couple would have to be married to travel together especially if she was great with child. But as we all know Joseph knew her not until she had brought forth her first born child. Therefore although others did not realise, they could not consummate the marriage until after Jesus was born. And therefore were still only espoused to each other. This then would prove the need to consummate a marriage to complete it. This does not mean that Jesus was born out of wedlock. His parents had entered into a covenant relationship, the only thing left to do was to consummate the marriage, they had been betrothed which is the covenant then they had a wedding ceremony, which did not count for anything but it convinced all that they were married, since they would have assumed that they had consummated the marriage. The wedding ceremony did not make them any more married than they already were. They were already just as married as we are when we leave the alter. We make a covenant at the alter, but we are not joined by God until the marriage is consummated. All the wedding did for Joseph and Mary was to legitimise their marriage and family in the sight of everyone else, because if they did not, then everyone would have thought that Jesus was conceived out of wedlock.
5. HOW THIS RELATES TO THE EXCEPTION CLAUSE IN MATTHEW.
So we have seen that a wife can be called so whilst betrothed. We have seen the importance of a betrothal and how one had to actually put the other away (divorce) to end it. This is an important thing to understand at this stage because it relates directly to the exception clause in Matthew. When Jesus spoke these words many years ago these customs were well understood by all. But today most of us are ignorant of these things, that is why most people interpret fornication as adultery but this is not the case fornication and adultery have very different meanings. When Jesus said fornication he meant fornication (sexual activity of single people or illicit unions ie Herod and Herodius or incestual or homosexual relationships). These relationships are against God's revealed will and need to be brought to an end.
In Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 Jesus said divorce could be granted in the case of 'fornication' which had been spoken of a few verses before in Matt 1:19 with the example of Joseph and Mary. When it seemed that Joseph's betrothed wife Mary had fornicated, Joseph would have been quite within his rights to have put her away for her fornication. Jesus was speaking of the betrothed wife, who may be put away if she is to fornicate AFTER they are betrothed and BEFORE God joins them at the time of consummation. Because once they become one flesh and are joined by God it is too late to put away. The gospel of Matthew was written to the Jews who would have completely understood what Jesus was saying as they practiced betrothal and knew that fornication during the betrothal was grounds for a divorce. The vows we say at the alter include until death do we part and TO FORSAKE ALL OTHERS. We agree to have no other, and for this reason we could not marry another until the death of our partner or we would be breaking our vows.
Today many including Christians are ignorant of this information. They have been duped by the Church to believe it's ok to divorce and remarry not only for adultery (although the Bible nowhere gives this as a reason) but also for abuse, neglect or abandonment. Jesus in the Gospels takes us back to Gods original design - marriage is for life until the death of one of the spouses - to teach anything else is deception.
MAL 2:14 Yet ye say, wherefore? Because the Lord has been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy COVENANT.
God says that He is witness of the covenant made between a husband and wife.
Vs 15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. Compare also Matt 19:4-6
God says that he made a husband and wife as one (one flesh). God at the time of the marriage contract joins the couple together in a covenant, as long as they are free to marry, this is followed by the consummation of the marriage. There are many other things that man has added to this, but they account for nothing. People all over the world have differing wedding and marriage customs, and some of these traditions do not include God. He is a witness of the vows made and joins them together, unless of course the marriage is sinful in which case it is regarded as adultery. (see above)
2. JEWISH MARRIAGE CUSTOMS & TRADITIONS.
I say marriage customs, not wedding customs, because the point of this discussion is how a Jewish couple becomes married. Weddings are not necessarily a part of what binds a couple together in marriage. Customs and traditions according to the Bible and the way God looks at things can be partly or even completely made up of man-made things, so that these traditions and customs have little importance in the things of God. In 1st century Palestine when the Gospel of Matthew was written it was a custom (not a rule), that couples would wait a long time, often a year or even more between betrothal and marriage. To understand this we must look to the next point.
3. OUR ENGAGEMENT VS. A JEWISH BETROTHAL.
It is important for us to understand the difference between an engagement and a Jewish betrothal. A betrothal (in the past) was the legal side of the marriage for Jewish people; it is, in fact, a covenant. The Jewish people call it kiddushin (betrothal). There is no set way to do this, but quite commonly it was done by the payment of a bride price in the presence of two witnesses, and reciting the marriage formula, "Thou art consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and of Israel." She is not required to respond; her silence is her acceptance. This reserved the young woman for him until the day of the wedding ceremony after which the marriage would be consummated. It doesn't matter what you call it, betrothal or engagement, the important thing to know is if there are vows involved or not. The 1st century Jews knew that this was done when they were betrothed, and we know this is done at the altar. This is very clear in our minds that the wedding day is the day of no turning back. Just as it is clear in the mind of the Jewish people when they are betrothed according to their customs. Although of course, some of them break these vows just as some of us. Nevertheless a traditional Jewish betrothal is taken very seriously because this is their vow. So an engagement may be called off at any time, and for any reason because no vows are made, but rather they agree to make those vows at a later date. Whereas a betrothal is a Jewish person's vows, and therefore binding until death do they part. This is why sometimes in the Bible a wife can be called a wife before she is actually married, a man may also be called a husband in the same situation. Joseph was called Marys' husband for this exact reason - they were betrothed but they had not yet consummated the marriage or had the wedding celebrations. see Matt 1:19.
The proof of this custom can be seen from other writings of the time. In the book of Josephus:
Josephus was a man who lived shortly after the time of Christ AD 37-100. He was the son of a priest and became a Pharisee at the age of nineteen. He may not have been a Christian but the historic details he has compiled are of great value. And of course he had first-hand knowledge of Jewish customs at the time of Christ. In The Antiquities Of The Jews Book 1 ch 11 par 4 on page 41. Josephus speaks of Lots two daughters. Gen 19:14 And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which (married) his daughters, and said, up, get you out of this place; for the Lord will destroy this city. But he seemed as One that mocked unto his sons in law.
Josephus speaks about these scriptures and basically says that the two daughters of Lot were virgins, yet they were married to Lot's sons-in-law. How can this be if they were virgins? You might say they were not the only two daughters of Lot, but later in this chapter one of them is called the first born, and it was customary for the elder to be married first, as we can see from Laban and his two daughters. But also we have here in Josephus his comments on Lot's two daughters. He says that Lot left with his two daughters, who were virgins, and betrothed to the same two (sons-in-law) that Lot spoke to. Then at the bottom of this column note (a) Says, These (sons in law) to Lot, as they are called might be so styled because they were (betrothed) to Lot's daughters, though not yet married to them.
Now you may argue that we cannot trust what Josephus says especially since he wasn't a Christian. But nonetheless Jewish people especially priests and Pharisees knew their Bible and their history. Even if you don't believe he was right about Lot's daughters, the mere fact that he mentions it proves my point about the customs of the Jews. He also speaks of these things again on page 387 The Antiquities Of The Jews Book 14 Chap 13 Par 1 Bottom 1st column note (a). We may here take notice that (espousals) alone were of old esteemed a sufficient foundation for affinity, Hycranus being here called father in law to Herod, because his granddaughter Mariamne was betrothed to him, although the marriage was not completed till four years afterwards.
'World of weddings' a book by Brian Murphy says,' Espousal among Hebrews was the (only) legal part of marriage, and could not be broken off except by a bill of divorce. All legal documents were signed and contracts completed at this time. All contracts specified a time between the espousal and the actual marriage relationship.'
Also in the Dake Bible, Deut 20 top of forth column (a).It was customary among the Jews to contract matrimony, espouse or betroth a couple, then leave each one with the parents for a considerable time. The contract always specified conditions of dowry, the time when the contracting couple should come together as man and wife, and all other details of agreement between the parents and young people. Concluding festivities were held at the time of fulfillment or coming together of the betrothed. The bridegroom then brought his bride home. Hence, any man in Israel who had such a contract for a wife was free from military duty until he had consummated the marriage and actually taken his wife.
Please read
Luk 2:4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
Luk 2:5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
Luk 2:6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
Luk 2:7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
It says that Mary was Joseph’s espoused wife when she was about to be delivered of her child. An interesting scripture, which not only calls an espoused woman a WIFE, but also shows that until the two become one flesh they have not completed the marriage in God's sight and are still considered to be betrothed. Joseph was espoused to Mary when he thought to PUT HER AWAY for the reason of FORNICATION, because she was found with child. Then in Matt 1:24-25 Joseph did as the angel had bidden him and took to him his wife.Which means they had a wedding ceremony. Therefore all being witnesses of the wedding would have thought them to have consummated the marriage, now believing them to be husband and wife. Had this not been the case they certainly would not have been traveling together as this was not the done thing. A couple would have to be married to travel together especially if she was great with child. But as we all know Joseph knew her not until she had brought forth her first born child. Therefore although others did not realise, they could not consummate the marriage until after Jesus was born. And therefore were still only espoused to each other. This then would prove the need to consummate a marriage to complete it. This does not mean that Jesus was born out of wedlock. His parents had entered into a covenant relationship, the only thing left to do was to consummate the marriage, they had been betrothed which is the covenant then they had a wedding ceremony, which did not count for anything but it convinced all that they were married, since they would have assumed that they had consummated the marriage. The wedding ceremony did not make them any more married than they already were. They were already just as married as we are when we leave the alter. We make a covenant at the alter, but we are not joined by God until the marriage is consummated. All the wedding did for Joseph and Mary was to legitimise their marriage and family in the sight of everyone else, because if they did not, then everyone would have thought that Jesus was conceived out of wedlock.
5. HOW THIS RELATES TO THE EXCEPTION CLAUSE IN MATTHEW.
So we have seen that a wife can be called so whilst betrothed. We have seen the importance of a betrothal and how one had to actually put the other away (divorce) to end it. This is an important thing to understand at this stage because it relates directly to the exception clause in Matthew. When Jesus spoke these words many years ago these customs were well understood by all. But today most of us are ignorant of these things, that is why most people interpret fornication as adultery but this is not the case fornication and adultery have very different meanings. When Jesus said fornication he meant fornication (sexual activity of single people or illicit unions ie Herod and Herodius or incestual or homosexual relationships). These relationships are against God's revealed will and need to be brought to an end.
In Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 Jesus said divorce could be granted in the case of 'fornication' which had been spoken of a few verses before in Matt 1:19 with the example of Joseph and Mary. When it seemed that Joseph's betrothed wife Mary had fornicated, Joseph would have been quite within his rights to have put her away for her fornication. Jesus was speaking of the betrothed wife, who may be put away if she is to fornicate AFTER they are betrothed and BEFORE God joins them at the time of consummation. Because once they become one flesh and are joined by God it is too late to put away. The gospel of Matthew was written to the Jews who would have completely understood what Jesus was saying as they practiced betrothal and knew that fornication during the betrothal was grounds for a divorce. The vows we say at the alter include until death do we part and TO FORSAKE ALL OTHERS. We agree to have no other, and for this reason we could not marry another until the death of our partner or we would be breaking our vows.
Today many including Christians are ignorant of this information. They have been duped by the Church to believe it's ok to divorce and remarry not only for adultery (although the Bible nowhere gives this as a reason) but also for abuse, neglect or abandonment. Jesus in the Gospels takes us back to Gods original design - marriage is for life until the death of one of the spouses - to teach anything else is deception.