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What is Marriage?Do You have a REAL Knowledge of Marriage? Who is family and how long do they remain family? Does divorce make those who were family, no longer family? DEAR BELOVED IN CHRIST JESUS Grace, Peace, and Mercy be with you from GOD the FATHER and from the Lord JESUS CHRIST. Walk in Truth as we have received commandment from the FATHER. Love one another. And this is love, that we walk, in his commandments (2John.: 3, 4, 5, 6, 9). How can we love by walking in God's commandments if we don't know and understand God's commandments? This is the very heart of the question,"What Is Marriage?" Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment (Matthew 22:37,38). This is the love of God, that we keep his commandments (l John.5: 3). Hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that says, I know him, and keeps not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him (l John.2:3-4). In the beginning was the WORD. In Him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the WORD was made flesh (JESUS the only begotten of GOD), and lived among us, full of Grace and Truth (John.1: 1, 4, 14). GOD sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world. He that believeth on him is not condemned. This is the condemnation:men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil, and do not want to be reproved. But he that doeth truth comes to the light (John.3: 16-21). Not the hearers of the law, but the doers of the law shall be justified before GOD (Romans.2: 13). He is a Jew (child of GOD), which is one inwardly doing the law of GOD from the heart, in the spirit (of the law) not by the letter (of the law), whose praise is of GOD not of men (Romans 2: 29). |
Marriage is a covenant made by God and broken only by death:
From the beginning of the human race, God has proclaimed the concept of union through the relationship of a man and woman. "And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Therefore a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:23-24). Here in the very first marriage we find an amazing statement of union. The two (man and woman) became one in God's eyes. I believe this statement by God should form the foundation for how we think about marriage.
In the Ephesians 5 passage quoted at the beginning, Paul speaks about the marriage relationship and the union of Christ with the church with exactly the same words used in Genesis. Paul says we are members of Christ, of His flesh and of His bones. The relationship is comparable, and both may be
referred to as a mystery. I believe we must see the connection between these two in the mind of God as we think about either relationship.
The significance of this may not be obvious at first, but I believe it will become more so as we continue. In the marriage relationship God holds a picture before us at all times, of the relationship that exists between His bride (the church) and Himself. The example is first for the man and woman, then for the children, but also for all of mankind as they look on. The heavenly relationship goes beyond the earthly relationship, but both cooperate to reveal the mind of God to us. His thought in both is union. If we accept a lower idea about either relationship, our concept of the other will suffer as well.
What are some of the usual concepts about what creates the marriage relationship? Marriage is primarily a covenant: the relationship is established as two people commit to each other in a binding covenant before God. Marriage is a union between a man and woman who do not have a previous living spouse. If a divorced person remarries while their first spouse is still alive the Bible calls this 'adultery' not a marriage see Mark 10:11, Luke 16:18, Romans 7: 2-3, Matt 5:31-32
A husband and wife are admonished not to break the marriage covenant. Malachi 2:14-16:The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Consider these words of Jesus: "And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who
made them at the beginning "made them male and female," and said, "For this reason a man shall
leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? So then,
they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate'"
(Matthew 19:4-6).
One Flesh: what does it actually mean when god says the two become 'one flesh'? The term “one flesh” comes from the Genesis account of the creation of Eve. Genesis 2:21-24 describes the process by which God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam’s side as he slept. Adam recognized that Eve was part of him—they were in fact “one flesh.” The term “one flesh” means that just as our bodies are one whole entity and cannot be divided into pieces and still be a whole, so God intended it to be with the marriage relationship. There are no longer two entities (two individuals), but now there is one entity (a married couple). God presides over the marriage service and as a couple recite their vows and exchange rings and are finally pronounced 'man and wife' God mystically joins the two together for life in the one flesh bond.
Vows: God takes our words seriously, when we make a vow we are expected to fulfill it. Part of what creates a covenant marriage is the intention of the couple as spoken in their vows to each other. In all cultures there is some form of legal marriage ceremony witnessed by friends and family. The vows the couple make are based on the revelation in Scripture of what constitutes a marriage. As I was seeking the Lord recently on the subject of my marriage stand I asked him to guide me and reveal things to me to help me continue in faith. I was led to remember my marriage vows. I can clearly remember saying the vows with the vicar presiding over us and blessing us. I have an old Book of Service from 1980 which I thought may have the vows in – I found the book and searched for the 'Marriage Ceremony'. Sure enough there they were the exact vows I had made in black and white. After so many years of being apart from my covenant husband you’d think I may have looked at the vows again in all this time but I never had. What I read sent shivers down my spine:
'The vows you are about to take are to be made in the presence of God, who is judge of all and knows all the secrets of our hearts; therefore if either of you knows a reason why you may not lawfully marry, you must declare it now.'
'N, will you take N to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? I, N , take you, N , to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law.'
'In the presence of God I make this vow. Heavenly Father, by your blessing let these rings be to N and N a symbol of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant which they have made this day through Jesus Christ our Lord.'
As I read the vows out loud I felt a profound sense of sadness and regret rise up in me. The tears then began to flow and I felt my heartbreaking again as I thought about how I'd broken my vows to my beloved husband. In my younger days I hadn't realised the seriousness of the vows. I made these solemn vows before God and to my husband that day – for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live. I cannot undo this, it’s a serious matter. Not only am I 'one flesh' with my husband until death separates us I am also answerable to God to keep my vows. Scripture tells us God places a high importance on keeping vows: Ecclesiastes 5:4 When you vow a vow to God, do not delay paying it, for he has no pleasure in fools. Numbers 30: 1-2 Moses spoke to the heads of the tribes of the people of Israel, saying, “This is what the Lord has commanded. If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.
There are significant consequences that come to those who sin by breaking their marriage vows. When the men of Israel divorced their wives and married foreign wives, God made it clear that He would not accept their sacrifices. Why? “Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? … He hateth putting away [divorce] …”(Malachi 2:14–16).
I'm thankful to God that he's led me to understand the importance of keeping the vows I made that day. I already knew from Scripture that I am being called to stand by my marriage - but seeing these vows again and remembering I said them before God only re-iterates the importance of keeping them. There is something in all human beings that recognises the importance of keeping our promises or vows. This is even more important when the vows are made with God as a witness.
Leaving and cleaving: What does it mean to "leave and cleave"? Genesis 2:24 'Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.' My own answer is that a man openly leaves his father's house (authority) and joins himself to his wife as they set up another household. It is not a secret thing, but something done before men and God. They live openly as husband and wife. The word 'cleave' means to 'stick fast'' to 'join' to 'glue'' see: cleave. What does this passage say makes two one? Is it a covenant? A ceremony? Vows in a public setting? The scripture does not say so. Rather it says that there is a "leaving" and a "cleaving." Then Jesus says: "What God has joined, let not man separate." The union made by God based on the couple's actions and spoken intentions cannot be broken. Only death can break the union that was created by God. It is the act of God which makes them one, as seen in Malachi 2:14-15: "…Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring…"
Permanency: Understanding what God says about marriage and the covenant promise you made to Him and your spouse, will help you understand why God will heal your broken marriage.Your marriage is of Utmost importance to God. Why? Because when you united in the matrimony of marriage, the two of you united into one with God. God created marriage in Genesis 2:23-24 "Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh". God created man then made woman to complement and help him. Marriage is God's greatest blessing so that man not be alone. “Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.” (Genesis 2:18).
God joined the two of you together and brought it into fruition and said, "it is good" "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate)". When you married you were joined together (bound) for life, this is God's law. When we seek to separate or divorce we are rebelling against God's law. No man, whether civil or religious, has the right to dissolve a marriage (only God can dissolve the marriage bond) and this only happens at the death of one of the covenant spouses. The only grounds for divorce, as it clearly says in the Matthew 19:9 and Matthew 5:31, 32 is fornication. God hates divorce, thus for no other reason than fornication will He allow divorce...not for indifferences, falling out of love, bitterness, anger, hate, a hardened heart. There are consequences for rebelling against God's laws.
Most divorce arises from a hardened heart. A hardened heart is a unforgiving heart, and a unforgiving heart is a sinful heart, God does not honour sin of any kind, He hates sin, and whoever lives in sin is not of God, is not living for God, honouring God, walking with God, obeying Gods laws and commands, and is living in death, heading for the pit of hell. It is what it is, and there is no way around it.People are incessantly attempting to side track or go around what God has said, marriage is no exception. It is the height of folly for man to believe he can arbitrarily annul or divorce what God has permanently established.
According to Jesus, marriage is much more than an 'agreement,' even more than what we would call a 'contract.' Marriage is a God-made covenant.
When you married you made a solemn vow to God, a promise that cannot be broken, "I take thee to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us". This vow was a covenant promise you made to God, and there is nowhere in the bible that allows us to annull or divorce that promise. God insists that you keep all of your solemn promises.
As was said before, God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and never intends for a couple to separate once they are married. Because separation, whether it is legal or physical, involves the division of a married couple, it displeases and hurts God. First Corinthians 7:10-11 says, "A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife."
Marriage vows should not be taken lightly, and separation should never be done casually or out of anger, because you'll drift farther apart until you eventually divorce. This is not in God's perfect plan for marriage, even if it has become acceptable in the world. "Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun--all the days of futility. For that is your portion in this life and in your work at which you toil under the sun." (Ecclesiastes 9:9).
Now since you know how God feels about marriage, will give you a greater understanding on why He heals broken marriages, regardless of the circumstances. There is not a marriage He will not heal...no marriage He cannot restore.
"You'll Come"
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
I have decided
I have resolved
To wait upon You, Lord
My rock and redeemer
Shield and reward
I'll wait upon You, Lord
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as the dawn appears
You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come, You'll come
We are not shaken
We are not moved
We wait upon You, Lord
Mighty deliverer
Triumph and truth
We wait upon You, Lord
As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as Your word endures
You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come, You'll come
Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed
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